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My phone invariably rings at 7pm, though amma knows 'd not be anywhere near home, just to hear a familiar voice at the other end. I cannot casually wait for my friend at the turning- suspicious person with suspicious object...why this self-doubt? Well, why not? May be someone passing by has dropped something into my bag, may be, for the perpetrator 'm acting as a sheild, may be....i really don't know! All i know is that i don't know why i shouldn't be afraid?

History records Hitler's reign as one of the most Barbaric. Surely, a senile charismatic wolf was a reason to be afraid of! What's my reason to be afraid of and what exactly am i afraid of? I don't know! They are somewhere out there..somewhere, even those whom we trust to warn us don't know. I may get shot or even blown up the next moment...may be not...may be tomorrow. If self-respect prevails, i can't even commit sucide...what if someone saves me at the nick of the moment? Of course public policy must be upheld immaterial of whether you live in terror or die at its cost at the hands of some rotten fellow.

'Why' is no longer my worry; 'm sure that's neither theirs. Those that print out those "alert" messages expect them to turn up in overalls covering their faces and holding huge boxes over their heads, preferably labelled RDX or that they would be lingering around for a long time so that someone might just get suspicious. I think expecting the obvious is just pretending to be yourself-stupid! Afterall, camouflage is an inherent function, whether it be of opinions or conduct. Frankly, i don't think they give a damn about planning...they'd have as many dead, preferably themselves also killed- end of story.

Surely, this is not the first time that this has happened but this time they did not wham! bam! vanish and brag....they shot..on and on...at who ever they saw...human life in a matter of seconds lay splattered on the tar. For those panic-stricken people trying to get home, trains were hauled up and they silently cried over the phone praying that the line would not go dead or they...those that will come out alive will tread the trail of terror this night has left behind.

I don't understand when people talk about the spirit of Mumbai...to me it's a calculated indifference bred out of a greater motive in life- to eak out a life in the moment you are alive for the next one.